Chaotic Clockwork

The world is chaos. There is no rhyme or reason for it to exist. But there is a pattern that has been formed. Is it only in our minds, or is there something more?

The first atoms knocked into one another, and they have rules they abide by. Do we know the rules though? We assume our theories and hypothesises show us how the universe works, but we’ve been proven wrong time and time again. We will ever know, or can we at all?

We are apart of the mechanics of this universe. It’s like asking a watch how it works. It simply does. Well perhaps not simply, as it was a difficult process to invent, and then make, but it has no knowledge of itself.

We assume we are self-aware, and able to decipher things, but are we? Now and again I have a feeling we aren’t even conscious. We are merely clockwork people, like all living things, set down and let run. Puttering forth to make more of ourselves. Programmed to consume and spread. We think we make choices, but aren’t they based upon what has gone before, and what we are made of?

You can choose to do a thing you don’t want to, but that is part of your programming/experience as well. We fight to survive as a whole. We are a colony of ants working together to shape the world to our needs. The individual may not even be important.

Even the brightest of us, who invent new ideas and things, may just be cogs. They exist because it is necessary, and they make what is needed. Fatalistically we move into the future, with the pattern of the past to build upon.

We do make choices, and they matter, but perhaps we have no choice in the matter. Being yourself, you’d make no other decision than the one you do. At a different time in your life, you might. But the one who made the decision, you of the past, would never do anything different, it can’t.

People will argue, and I might agree, that at the quantum level it’s all probability. Then the universe wouldn’t be a series of gears moving forward, it would be random chance. There lies the chaos, but at the larger levels it seems more mechanical.

Perhaps we literally are just programs in a machine, and this theory hasn’t been disprove… then again, you can only prove, you can never disprove. But there are signs we are within a computer. We may all be simulations, living in a simulated universe. If so, I’d want to hack it, but that’s neither here nor there.

We may be in an eternal loop as well… when we die, the universe is reset, and our life is replayed, exactly as it was, eternally. What would be the point you would ask, and I would to. Who knows…. I certainly don’t, but it makes me even more curious about the reality in which we reside.

That all being said, I would suggest to live the life you want. Limit the pain in it, and do those things you would be proud of on your death-bed. We have this one shot, though it may replay. Make it a good one, at the end of the day.



What I’ve published

poems_front2Deatship - Book 1 of the Outsider SeriesStarship - Book 2 of the Outsider Series

Link to my author page on Amazon – h

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store –

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you.

Update – The editor arrived yesterday, and we are nearly to the end of the last Outsider book. Today I edited and wrote in my newest novel. Things are going well on that front.

“A mind is a simulation that simulates itself.”
― Erol Ozan

Steven Oaks

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