I do not believe in fate. I do not believe that we are destined for a certain outcome. I think that we are, over time, made into people. From the first moment we are aware, until the day we die, we are molded and shaped over time to be who we are.
I will call us the puzzle people. We are born a simple shape, able to fit into most places, but over time we are given information, or life lessons, that lead us to be molded into more jagged shapes, less able to fit into most area’s of life. Every time we “learn” something new, it has shaped a new square, round, or angular protrusion from ourselves, and we will no longer easily fit alongside our fellow people who hold dissimilar beliefs of the world.
Let us take romantic relationships. Say you meet someone, and they are pleasant, and you wish to continue to be with them. You find many of the shame shapes you two hold fit together nicely. That doesn’t mean perfectly. I would say it is nigh impossible to fit so well together with someone as to have all the shapes they do, you would have had to have lived the same life that they did. But I digress. You might find over time the shapes that don’t mesh with this person cause friction, as you both try to fit together more closely. The biggest mistake we make as people, is to think to be happy we have to make all those we associate with exactly like us, and have them hold the same beliefs. The important thing to remember in a relationship is that we will never have that perfect fit, and if you have found an ounce of happiness with another, work hard not to force them to be you. Most of us would be most displeased with dating ourselves, as we have many needs that we cannot supply to ourselves, though we know what they are. I’m not saying being with just anyone, and accepting their “flaws” will make you happy. I’m saying that if you find someone with many similar traits and beliefs you share, do not force them away over time when you finally realize they are actually more different from you.
As for relating to your fellow person, they do not have to be anything like you to receive value from them. They are a puzzle person as you are. If their jagged shapes do not fit yours, you do not have to associate with them, but you can talk to them and try to understand why their shapes are different from yours.
I have found most of the beliefs we hold are there because we believe they are the right thing. No one holds a belief simply for evil sake, they will do what they think is right. Be it right for themselves, or what they think is right for others. However, if one belief is that we all must burn alive to attain enlightenment, and they wish us all to attain this, and in this belief that it is the right thing to help us to that enlightenment, they will try to burn us. We can see how this jagged puzzle protrusion would find it hard to fit with others. My own puzzle protrusion holds the right of the individual above that of a group belief. I would say even if all of mankind believed we must attain enlightenment through being burnt, and I held this belief too, and one person did not wish to be burned, I would say we shouldn’t force them. Obviously replace the burning with anything an individual has to be forced to do, and it equates to the same thing in my book.
We are all individual puzzle pieces, and we all have different ways of finding a way of fitting together. Sometimes it takes time to shift about until we find the right place to be, be that work, or relating to our fellow person. Eventually we are usually able to find a place for ourselves. The effort we expend on fitting in can also be shaping us, and that will make it easier to find another fitting piece. But like I said, I do not believe we are fated to fit a certain area, we are continually molded, and any given time may be more likely to fit with certain pieces better, but that doesn’t mean you have to stay there, nor does it mean you will even find that place when you are looking. Taking the effort is what it is all about. May your shape fit with where you are, or where you are going.
What I’ve published
The Outsider Series
Link to my author page on Amazon – hhttp://www.amazon.com/Steven-Oaks/e/B00MEGSEZ6
Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store – https://www.createspace.com/5023771
Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you. https://www.patreon.com/StevenOaks
Update – 1,053 words written on the latest novel.
“When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
― Donald Miller
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