Revelling in Writing

Well I’m really enjoying where my story is now. My break from yesterday is over, and what I put to page today felt so right. It might even lead to spin offs from the main story.

It’s so good to have someone to talk to about what I’m writing. When I was stuck they gave me a glimmer of hope that I could work my way out of the knot. I had cornered myself, and I wasn’t sure where I should go. I had given myself so many rules for how things worked, and what the people would and wouldn’t do, there was nowhere else to go.

But they shone light on an exit, and I leapt immediately to it. The next day I was ready to tackle it, and I think I’m still doing so with gusto. The ending I had in mind will have to change, but where this is leading is so much more exciting, and interesting.

I’m just letting the characters decide what to do next, and how they handle the world their in. I think that’s for the best while I take time to ponder an ending. I’ve two in mind, but both are a little bit much. I will assure you that “It was all a dream” is not the one I’m going to write. I hate those.

Anyway, I’m excited for the future, and I may be free of a bit of my burden soon.

What I’ve published

Poetry

poems_front2

The Outsider Series

Deatship - Book 1 of the Outsider SeriesStarship - Book 2 of the Outsider SeriesPageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00072]

Link to my author page on Amazon – hhttp://www.amazon.com/Steven-Oaks/e/B00MEGSEZ6

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store – https://www.createspace.com/5023771

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you. https://www.patreon.com/StevenOaks

Update: 1,066 words written in the new novel.

“Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters.”
― Neil Gaiman

Steven Oaks

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Chaotic Clockwork

The world is chaos. There is no rhyme or reason for it to exist. But there is a pattern that has been formed. Is it only in our minds, or is there something more?

The first atoms knocked into one another, and they have rules they abide by. Do we know the rules though? We assume our theories and hypothesises show us how the universe works, but we’ve been proven wrong time and time again. We will ever know, or can we at all?

We are apart of the mechanics of this universe. It’s like asking a watch how it works. It simply does. Well perhaps not simply, as it was a difficult process to invent, and then make, but it has no knowledge of itself.

We assume we are self-aware, and able to decipher things, but are we? Now and again I have a feeling we aren’t even conscious. We are merely clockwork people, like all living things, set down and let run. Puttering forth to make more of ourselves. Programmed to consume and spread. We think we make choices, but aren’t they based upon what has gone before, and what we are made of?

You can choose to do a thing you don’t want to, but that is part of your programming/experience as well. We fight to survive as a whole. We are a colony of ants working together to shape the world to our needs. The individual may not even be important.

Even the brightest of us, who invent new ideas and things, may just be cogs. They exist because it is necessary, and they make what is needed. Fatalistically we move into the future, with the pattern of the past to build upon.

We do make choices, and they matter, but perhaps we have no choice in the matter. Being yourself, you’d make no other decision than the one you do. At a different time in your life, you might. But the one who made the decision, you of the past, would never do anything different, it can’t.

People will argue, and I might agree, that at the quantum level it’s all probability. Then the universe wouldn’t be a series of gears moving forward, it would be random chance. There lies the chaos, but at the larger levels it seems more mechanical.

Perhaps we literally are just programs in a machine, and this theory hasn’t been disprove… then again, you can only prove, you can never disprove. But there are signs we are within a computer. We may all be simulations, living in a simulated universe. If so, I’d want to hack it, but that’s neither here nor there.

We may be in an eternal loop as well… when we die, the universe is reset, and our life is replayed, exactly as it was, eternally. What would be the point you would ask, and I would to. Who knows…. I certainly don’t, but it makes me even more curious about the reality in which we reside.

That all being said, I would suggest to live the life you want. Limit the pain in it, and do those things you would be proud of on your death-bed. We have this one shot, though it may replay. Make it a good one, at the end of the day.

 

 

What I’ve published

poems_front2Deatship - Book 1 of the Outsider SeriesStarship - Book 2 of the Outsider Series

Link to my author page on Amazon – hhttp://www.amazon.com/Steven-Oaks/e/B00MEGSEZ6

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store – https://www.createspace.com/5023771

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you. https://www.patreon.com/StevenOaks

Update – The editor arrived yesterday, and we are nearly to the end of the last Outsider book. Today I edited and wrote in my newest novel. Things are going well on that front.

“A mind is a simulation that simulates itself.”
― Erol Ozan

Steven Oaks

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The Creators Dilemma

Fabricating reality

it’s what I do

but I strive to not lie

and yet I do

Fictional versions

of thoughts from my mind

tend to flow forth

and echo through time

Enough of this madness I claim

and yet it’s enjoyable

and perhaps one day

life will be less horrible

Financial woes

come to those in this game

and yet you’ll never win if you never play

you’ll only stay the same

So find your passion

and struggle mightily

one day you may find

you have done rightly

 

 

 

What I’ve published

poems_front2Deatship - Book 1 of the Outsider SeriesStarship - Book 2 of the Outsider Series

Link to my author page on Amazon – hhttp://www.amazon.com/Steven-Oaks/e/B00MEGSEZ6

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store – https://www.createspace.com/5023771

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you. https://www.patreon.com/StevenOaks

Update – Newest novel reviewed, at least several pages. The editor came yesterday, and we did some work on the last Outsider book.

“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy.”
― Terry Pratchett

Steven Oaks

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Shall you change, or remain true to yourself?

The pulse of Earth

Beating in time

Pushes us forth

forcing us to climb

Destruction of self

is sometimes the only way

that we have at hand

to make it through the day

But we get to choose

who we will become

evil or good selves

lest we succumb

But while we can change

we may have no desire

and then we are trapped

bogged down in our own mire

Malleable is the mind

but the heart is not

emotions run deep

but ignored they rot

Little can be done

for a black heart

it’s already destroyed

with little to impart

So close yourself away

at your own peril

the silence eats at the soul

and drains thy marrow

 

 

What I’ve published

poems_front2Deatship - Book 1 of the Outsider SeriesStarship - Book 2 of the Outsider Series

Link to my author page on Amazon – hhttp://www.amazon.com/Steven-Oaks/e/B00MEGSEZ6

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store – https://www.createspace.com/5023771

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you. https://www.patreon.com/StevenOaks

Update – Newest novel reviewed, at least several pages. Small changed needed, but still looking good. I hope to have an editor over later today.

“If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather.

Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you will ever do.”
― Stephen Fry

Steven Oaks

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Closer, yet still more to come

The last Outsider book just took another step forward closer to completion. I’ve yet again made another run through of it, and found it mostly in good standing. Though I did make some minor changes, and elaborated here and there, I think it was already on its way to being my best work yet. I’ll just have to have the editors make some time for it before I will publish.

That being said, the ending I had before left me feeling less than pleased. It is now in a state I think of as good. I’ll want some feedback before I do much else with it, but it might even be great. I can’t wait to have it available for reading, but it is difficult to find the time for it to be worked on these days.

Perhaps it is now time I go back to writing my other book. I’ve left it alone far too long, and I think I’ll have to read through what I’ve written already before I make a stab at finishing it. That’s what I did with this last Outsider book, and perhaps that is why I think it is in such good shape. I really need to get the feel back for this other story, it’s very different from the Outsider series. More visceral, perhaps, and more mature.

There are some topics I tend not to want to write about, but I’m forcing myself out of my comfort zone with this book. I did so with this last Outsider book, and maybe that’s why I like reading it again so much. Darker, less friendly and cheerful, though still much lighter than my newest book. So if I want to feel good about these things I might have to delve into the things I dislike discussing… which is strange since I like talking about so much. Perhaps it is my reserved nature about certain topics. We shall see.

 

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you. https://www.patreon.com/StevenOaks

 

What I’ve published

poems_front2Deatship - Book 1 of the Outsider SeriesStarship - Book 2 of the Outsider Series

Link to my author page on Amazon – hhttp://www.amazon.com/Steven-Oaks/e/B00MEGSEZ6

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store – https://www.createspace.com/5023771

Update – The third Outsider book is in good shape, just need editors to finish looking at it.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”
― Mark Twain

Steven Oaks

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Let us Boldly Go

Gazing at the stars as they glided across the night sky, I find myself wondering who else might be out there.

As always I feel almost as if I am falling through space, and a shudder runs up and down my spine. The never-ending void, filled with a smattering of light, leaves me cold to the core. I torment myself with this vision, but my fascination never ceases.

Might there be another out there on a world not my own who is gazing back at me? Or perhaps our planet is the only to ever have hosted intelligent life.

Filled with such thoughts I let my mind wander, and picture Earth from space, and imagine all the people it holds. Though we are so similar to each other, we strike out at any differences, and wars continue to encompass each continent. They may be little battles between small groups, or they may be between nations, but violence is always there.

Why should we revel in our hatred for each other? It makes little sense for our continued survival. But perhaps that is the point, we only care about our individual survival, or that of our genetics or culture. We wish no other to prevail, so we are urged to eradicate those of other nationalities or viewpoints.

But shouldn’t it be that our fights should be reserved to preserve all of mankind? The differences between us are so small, and yet they can mean the difference between all of our continued survival, or our extinction. Minds continue to arise from places we would not think of, and they put forth new ideas that might lead us down a path of either enlightenment, or scientific discovery.

I say the most immature thing about mankind is our need to fight. The Earth is good and bountiful, there is not need for our wars. If we use our minds to focus on the real problems, there’d be enough for all of us.

If need be, escape away from this turmoil filled planet, and let us seek out a new world. Space is vast, and in all its vastness we could find a new home. Be it inside a biosphere we construct, or on a new planet that we make habitable, there is room. We can spread and be free of our fear of diminishing resources.

Our neighbor Mars offers a place we might use, though it will take immense effort, but there might be other worlds more suitable. Let’s break free from the bonds of Earth and our own hatreds, and create the ability to travel between the stars in our lifetime. It may seem impossible, but so did flying, or travelling to the Moon not so long ago.

I believe in you, humanity. We can do so much. We just need to grow up a little, and we’ll have no worry that we will destroy ourselves.

 

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you. https://www.patreon.com/StevenOaks

 

What I’ve published

poems_front2Deatship - Book 1 of the Outsider SeriesStarship - Book 2 of the Outsider Series

Link to my author page on Amazon – hhttp://www.amazon.com/Steven-Oaks/e/B00MEGSEZ6

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store – https://www.createspace.com/5023771

Update – The third Outsider book worked on. A day like many before it has come. If only… If only.

“We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win.”
― John F. Kennedy

Steven Oaks

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Metamorphosis

Each day passes and changes come

Every person you meet

Every passing street

You become something new

Molded and folded into new shapes

revealing our strengths and weaknesses

Fractures rear their heads

and we stumble and fall

but with more time and work

maybe they’ll be smoothed away

and we’ll be stronger than before

So cast yourself into the fires

burn away those imperfections

and become a blade that can stand before any enemy

slay those weaknesses upon your own edge

and be honed into something more

 

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you. https://www.patreon.com/StevenOaks

 

What I’ve published

poems_front2Deatship - Book 1 of the Outsider SeriesStarship - Book 2 of the Outsider Series

Link to my author page on Amazon – hhttp://www.amazon.com/Steven-Oaks/e/B00MEGSEZ6

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store – https://www.createspace.com/5023771

Update – The third Outsider book worked on. Pancakes for breakfast to see if I can be cheered up. I need some time.

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”
― Terry Pratchett

Steven Oaks

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Just a little more

I’m very close to a personal goal right now. I have nearly reached a hundred likes on Facebook for my author page. It has taken quite awhile, as I know some people don’t want to use Facebook any more. However, it’s easier for me to know when someone comments, or wishes feedback from me while I’m away from home.

So here I am asking for more help from you my readers. If you could be so kind as to like my page, I would be very appreciative. I know it’s not something you probably want to do, and may offer not a huge value to you, but it does help me, even if it is just a little.

You will receive the same content that I post here, but perhaps you will notice it sooner, if that is something you like. Also I tend to respond quicker, and with perhaps a bit more articulation there. The phone that I have now only allows me so many apps because of storage, but since besides texting, Facebook is really the only app I have on the phone to allow me to communicate I’ve made sure to install it.

Once I reach 100 likes I will announce the title of the third Outsider book there. If it happens today I will let you know the working title for the new novel I’m writing.

I thank all of you who have already liked the page, but please let your friends and possibly family know about it. Every like counts.

Here is the link for you if you please.  https://www.facebook.com/theauthorstevenoaks

 

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you. https://www.patreon.com/StevenOaks

 

What I’ve published

poems_front2Deatship - Book 1 of the Outsider SeriesStarship - Book 2 of the Outsider Series

Link to my author page on Amazon – hhttp://www.amazon.com/Steven-Oaks/e/B00MEGSEZ6

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store – https://www.createspace.com/5023771

Update – The third Outsider book is going very well. I think I’ve been able to shape it up into something better than it was before with just a few more words, or different words here and there. It seems to flow very well, at least for me. I’m looking forward to releasing it, though I’m still unsure when that might be. Though I will do it sometime this year. Earlier the better.

“A single smile may move the heart of the coldest mind. Reach out to those around you, and show that smile.”

– Steven Oaks

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How much help?

I think helping another person is a great thing. However I have been pondering how much should we give another. Should we sacrifice everything we have to help a single person, or a group of people? Do we let all another’s issues become our own? Now if I were to look at this as a moral question I would simply say that is up to the individual. If you wish to spend every cent you make on trying to assist others you should feel free to do so. But If I were to look at this as a government issues, that is where I will have some problems. You see we are taxed, and those taxes are sometimes used to assist those who are either less fortunate, or who have fallen on hard times. Certainly everyone has had times in their lives when they need help, but how often do you need to call upon an outside force to help you. Do you not have friends and family? Does your community shun you? If you have no other option you might then use the government handouts that are available. For how long is it acceptable to do that? But wait, where did that money come from? It was siphoned away from those who are trying to make livings. At the threat of violence we are all forced to pay into a pool so that we might continue to fund social, and government programs. You might say that is the only way to insure that those who need help get it. You might also say people are far too selfish to help others without coercion. But have we lived in a modern society where we are able to observe that? How can a person be expected to be charitable when their paychecks are being stolen from each time they are paid? Then you might say, would not a charity then be responsible for the money. Perhaps, but at least it was not a forced collection of money. We would all have to be responsible for where the money goes, instead of relying on the government to make intelligent decisions on where to place OUR money. So should you help your fellow person. Of course! Should you be forced to? Absolutely not. How much is the right amount? That is entirely up to you, but I hope you find it in your heart to do the most good you can.

Update – 1,000 words written. It is starting to flow a little better. Perhaps sleeping helped on that front.

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” ― John Bunyan

– Steven Oaks

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Third time the charm

I have now read through my novel a total of three times. Finding errors brought me great anger at my own lack of skill. However I know that mistakes are always made. To err is human, and I am very much a human, though I fight it often enough. Striving for perfection is a fault, or a curse that I have placed upon myself. I now hope that it can be read in its entirety without too much to change before I publish. I will send it off once more to be read through by a third individual, and when it returns I will look through it again. I hope for few mistakes, but I know there may still be some I missed. Being swayed by my own arrogance, and enjoyment of my own tale may have led me astray of the perfection I hope for. Which is why I am glad there are people willing to help me on this journey. However I am only a writer, and know little of the marketing of what I create. I could simply hope for my story to speak for itself, and have people begin to read it, but I know that will only allow people who know me personally, or their friends, to finally read what I have written. So as a simple plea, I ask all of those that read this to please alert others that a new novel is coming. I would of course ask those who have the skill to help me market it, but they usually ask for money. And as I have stated earlier in these musings I am short on funds. I had to quit working a regular job to even make this attempt, and my savings grow smaller each day because of this selfish act. Perhaps I should have waited until I had amassed even more money, but that would have hindered my ability to write. Nor could I continue to work a regular job to do this. The words would not come, save in small doses. Even editing was something I was unable to do while working, and for that I think I am worse off than some. This is my passion, but I was having it stolen from me by putting all my efforts into trying to work. So in conclusion, I am nearly finished polishing this work, but I need your help to let others know it is coming. I will need even more help when it has finally reached publication. I thank you for continuing to read these random writings of mine, and look forward to your review of my first novel.

Update – more than 10 pages reviewed. Things look great with my own eyes. Please help a fellow human make their dreams reality.

“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.” ― Ray Bradbury

– Steven Oaks

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