My Son

Greetings to you. I’m here, as you might surmise by the text you are reading. Now for me to try and write something you’d want to read, or at least list the things that are running through my head.

Today marks an anniversary. A birthday if you will. Ten years ago my son was born. The happiest day of my life, even with many wonderful things having happened before and after. The wonder I felt when I first saw him, and the crushing emotions that filled me when I first held him. I’d never felt anything like that before or since.

That happiness and fulfillment lasted the entire time he was with me. But as this is a tragedy, he was soon lost to me. The details of this I relive everyday, sometimes with such vividness that I find it hard to think of anything else, other times with detachment, touching that memory like a bruise, seeing how hard I can push it before it becomes too painful. But even with how hard it was to live life after, I’m still glad he was in my life, even as short a time as I had with him.

I credit him for my books. I’d always wanted to write, but I’d never taken the time to do so, other than the odd short story or idea that I’d work on in my head, or rarely in random notebooks. I write because it’s something I can create, and because he never will make anything. I write so that even if he never got the chance to do anything, at least he made a change in the world, even if it’s only me that he changed.

This is why I had listed today’s date as a possible day for the publication of my latest book. Even if I knew that wasn’t likely, there’s so much more to writing than just writing and editing, but we grow ever closer to releasing it. The cover is coming along, and the formatting should be finished soon. But in the end, all my books are because my son was in my life. I’m thankful that I had the chance to know him, and that makes the pain easier for me to deal with.

We all deal with loss differently. But we all have loss in our life. Thankfully most of you won’t have to feel the loss of a child, and for that I’m truly glad. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy, even if I had one. But we all lose someone we love. The only thing I can think to offer as a means to get through it would be that no matter what, even if you forget them somehow, they were there. Nothing can take away the past. If you focus on the negative this is a terrible thing to remember, but if you embrace all the good that came from it you can still smile. Smile for all the happy times you had, and make the world better because of it, even if it’s only better in the small corner of the world you call home.

With that, I shall leave you. I’m sorry it wasn’t a cheerful story to tell, though I hope it can help a little for anyone going through loss. I’m not the best at talking about emotions, but I wished to share in hopes that my story might help others.

May your week be filled with happiness, and if it’s not, then remember the good times, and try to make the world one in which you wish yourself and others to live.


What I’ve published

Walk On

Walk On Cover

click here for a link to the book

Outsider Trilogy


Click here for a link to the book



Link to my author page on Amazon –

Link to the Deathship book in the CreateSpace store –

Or you can help me out on Patreon. Again, thank you.

Update: The book is 100% edited. And I’m 39% into the new novel’s first draft.

Steven Oaks

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